Pregnancy with Diabetes

Hello again!

(Continuing my high-risk pregnancy story)

Wow, time flies!

I have been WANTING to write a blog post since the last time I wrote one more than two years ago but I always made an excuse or something would come up.

I give props to the social media influencers who have kids and continue to post about their life and do what they were doing before having a kid. That is commitment at its finest. As much as I wanted to share my story, I either didn’t make the time or didn’t have the time.

So here we are 🙂 More than two years later. My son (who is turning 2 this month!!!) is watching Cars 3 while I write this blog post.

So much has happened since the last time I wrote a blog post and I’ve thought about catching everyone up and writing about the rest of my pregnancy and my birth story and everything after and life updates and diabetes updates but then I don’t want to start and take forever to finish. But then I think it would be important as maybe people would relate and not feel alone or isolated. Okay, now I am just rambling.

In the last post I wrote, I shared my experience of meeting with a MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist/doctor) who made me feel unseen and unheard. Luckily, I never spoke with them again and was always scheduled with someone else. I eventually requested an office closer to where I lived and met with the MFMs at Pomona Valley Hospital Medical Center (while still making sure I didn’t meet with the first MFM as I became aware that MFM also traveled to the Pomona clinic). Anyway, the MFMs I worked with for the rest of my pregnancy were amazing and meticulous and patient and I was beyond grateful for them.

As my pregnancy progressed, I would see the MFMs a lot more often. I went from seeing them every two weeks to every week, which I loved as I got an ultrasound each time and saw my baby and heard his heartbeat.

One of the most anxiety-producing appointments was needing to do a fetal echocardiogram, which is a specialized ultrasound used during pregnancy to assess the baby’s heart structure, especially in high-risk pregnancies. I felt anxious as I was scared that something would be wrong. I thought something would be wrong as in a prior appointment, I heard the MFM say that the blood flow appeared slower than normal and they would need to further assess. I had to wait a whole week between those two appointments and I couldn’t help but think negatively and prepare myself to hear that something was wrong with my baby’s heart. I was hoping for the best but prepared for the worst and it was hard to challenge those thoughts. My husband and family kept reassuring me everything was okay, normal, fine, etc. but I couldn’t shake the negative thoughts.

Luckily, everything was okay and my baby’s heart was functioning normally. I let out a big sigh of relief when the doctor told me everything was okay and normal. And yes, a MFM did the fetal echocardiogram, not an ultrasound tech.

During the pregnancy, I had stubborn highs and my insulin resistance increased and I needed a lot of background insulin (I continued using my insulin pump throughout my entire pregnancy). It definitely took a lot of work to keep my A1C under 6.5 during my pregnancy and I was stressed with every high and every minute I was high. But I did it 🙂 and looking back, I am so dang proud of myself.

Whenever I get another chance to write another blog post, I will share my birth story.

Thank you all for reading!

Diabetes Adventures

The Struggle of Eating Out

Last week Friday, I went to dinner with some friends, we met up around 7:30pm. We went to a sushi place, we placed our order, ordered drinks and when I reach for my pump to pre-bolus…..BAM!!! I noticed that I only have 27 units left of insulin! Eeek!

I had ordered one beer and one roll of sushi, an albacore roll. The sushi roll has rice in it so it is going to have carbs and my beer also has carbs. As soon as I saw how many units of insulin I had left, 1,234,834,283,698 thoughts flew through my mind. Yes, us diabetics can have that many thoughts!

Let me give you some insight: For every 1 gram of carb, my pump’s settings are set to give me 4.2 units of insulin (I stick to that carb ratio, 1:4.2, because that is what my body needs) and my background insulin (which basically just means the insulin my pump is giving me 24/7) is 66 units of insulin in 24 hours so that means every 1 hour I am getting 2.75 units of insulin. According to Google, my albacore roll is roughly 57g carbs which means I’ll be using 13.5 units of insulin + I had ordered a beer which is roughly 13g carbs which means I’ll be using 3 units of insulin = 16.5 units of insulin for my dinner (one roll and one beer).

So if I bolus for my dinner this is what it would look like:

27(units of insulin in my pump)-16.5 (units needed to bolus for my dinner) = 10.5 units (of insulin remain).

Let’s say dinner is about 2 hours so 2.75+2.75 (background insulin) = 5.5 units of insulin

So if I only had the one roll, one beer and dinner was 2 hours long that means I would have 5 units of insulin left.

Side note: Everyone’s insulin needs are different so there are people who have a higher ratio and others who have a lower ratio. There is NOTHING wrong with you for having different insulin settings from someone else and you are NOT a bad diabetic, it simply means your body needs more insulin.

Back to my dinner story!

I started thinking that I should have checked my pump before I left the house, I should have brought my supplies to change out my reservoir, I should have brought up a back up insulin pen, I shouldn’t have ordered the roll and should have ordered a salad instead, I should have ordered water and not beer, I should have this, I should have that, I should have, I should have, I should have, why didn’t I? Basically I was beating myself up and felt like a bad diabetic. This has happened to me before so I also thought to myself, “haven’t you learned yet?!” All these thoughts flashed through my mind in a matter of seconds.

I didn’t have an outwardly reaction and I honestly didn’t think any of my friends noticed and I did my best to contain myself because I was at a dinner with friends and there was nothing I could do except maybe excuse myself from dinner and go home but home was also 40 minutes away and it had been a few months since I had seen my friends.

In that moment I made the quick decision to not bolus for anything so that I can still have enough for background insulin to last me the whole night. Was that the best/smartest idea? Who knows! LOL I think that sometimes being a diabetic is similar to having two right answers and needing to chose the best right answer! And sometimes we don’t get that answer right and sometimes we don’t know it until after the fact.

I’ve come a long way with being kinder to myself regarding my diabetes management and putting at ease my thoughts and worries so despite of my insulin situation, I was still able to enjoy myself, enjoy my food, enjoy my beer and enjoy time with friends.

I didn’t check my pump until after dinner and I was holding steady in the 180s but I know that with rice, my blood sugar was going to start rising over the next two hours. After dinner, we felt like we still needed more time to talk/catch up and I didn’t want to leave so I made another decision to stick with the group. We walked to our friend’s house and we stayed there till almost 11:30 pm. Then I drove my friend to her house where my husband was hanging out with her husband and we stayed another hour or so. At this point, I already knew my blood sugars were high and didn’t feel like checking since there was nothing I could have done about it. I was able to stay in the present moment and I had so much fun.

We got home around 1:15am, I checked my blood sugar and it was at 293. I didn’t beat myself up about it, I wasn’t mean to myself and just saw the number matter-of-factly. I proceeded to change my infusion set since I obviously had already run out of insulin and did a correction before going to sleep.

The above scenario, as I briefly mentioned earlier, has happened to me more than once. I think its because I am a baby diabetic and diabetes is not always at the forefront of my mind even though its a huge part of me. It’s always a reminder to myself that I am more than my diabetes and that one night of bad blood sugars doesn’t mean I am a bad diabetic, it’s not enough for me to make me feel badly about myself and definitely not worth losing out on a fun night with my friends.

I do recognize and am aware that I need to be better and do better but then again, I’m only human and no one is perfect 🙂