Uncategorized

How to Deal with Diabetes Burnout

Diana Barreto

What is Diabetes Burnout?

Diabetes burnout. Some might know what it means, some might have never heard of the term before yet have lived through it. For others, they might know what the words mean individually. Simply put, diabetes burnout is when someone with a diabetes diagnosis has grown tired of the daily challenges and tasks that come with being a diabetic. Diabetes burnout is real and it happens to everyone who is diagnosed with diabetes. It looks different on everyone just like stress, happiness, or any other emotion that the human body is capable of having. As a diabetic myself, I have gone through diabetes burnout more times than I can count. For me, it manifests in different ways such as when I start to decrease the amount of times I check my blood sugars, when I get frustrated everytime I look at my meter and it reads a number I wasn’t expecting or wanting, when I lie to my family about what I ate or how my sugars have been, when I don’t pre-bolus, when I start to eat junk food and get the “I don’t care” mentality and think “well I already had one donut, might as well have two more”, then later decide to get pizza for lunch and then maybe a hamburger and fries for dinner since my sugar levels are already going to be out of range. For you, diabetes burnout might look exactly the same or vastly different.

Why Does Diabetes Burnout Happen?

If you are a diabetic or take care of someone who has diabetes, you know that in order to manage the chronic illness, it needs your attention 24/7/365. For those who don’t live with a chronic illness, let me give you a little glimpse of what it entails. There are many different types of diabetes but for this article, I will focus on Type 1 Diabetes. As a Type 1 diabetic who uses an insulin pump, I have to check my blood sugars at least 4x a day, I have to learn and know how many carbs are in each food item I eat so that I can then pre-bolus (give yourself insulin prior to eating), and then in order to avoid spikes in my blood sugars, I have to try and wait 10-30 minutes before eating (depending on how many carbs I will be consuming). I also need to make sure I check my feet at least 1x/week for any infections or cuts, I have to change my infusion set every 3 days (which means using a device that has a needle in it so that a catheter gets inserted into my skin so that the pump can deliver insulin), and then change my continuous glucose monitor once a week (which also means using a device that has a needle in it).

Can you see why someone would get tired of having diabetes? As diabetics, we also have to deal with unexpected changes in our blood sugars that can be caused by lack of sleep, stress, anger, exercise, breathing, and just being a human. This, in turn, can cause frustration and thoughts of no longer wanting to deal with it all which is exactly what diabetes burnout is. Having diabetes requires 24/7 attention. We are not allowed to take a break from our diabetes, we can’t shut it off, we can’t get away from it or it’ll get worse, we can’t put it on pause, and we can’t decide that today we don’t have diabetes. Well, we can but that has consequences! Because of this constant attention that diabetes is needed, we get tired. Imagine having to work your job 24/7 and never being able to take a vacation or even a small break? You’d want to quit!

For some, diabetes burnout will last days, for others it can last weeks, and for some months or even years. You might have gone through diabetes burnout but did not know the term for it. Know that you are not alone. We are human and we have emotions and we are allowed to have them. Your frustrations and anger is valid. But being in a constant state of diabetes burnout is not healthy physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally.

How is Diabetes Burnout Dealt With?

The main thing you have to remind yourself as a diabetic is that managing your diabetes is not a straight line, it’s not 1+2=3, and it’s far beyond perfect. 

With that being said, the next important thing is being aware of the signs that lead to diabetes burnout. This will take practice, trial and error. Maybe you start to notice that you are eating a bit more ruthlessly, maybe you are starting to care less about your diabetes regimen, maybe you notice yourself isolating from your family and friends, maybe you notice that you are starting to lash out at your loved ones, etc. Once you start to notice these changes and are aware of them, you can do certain tasks to help decrease diabetes burnout. Some of these techniques include:

  • Reaching out to a diabuddy, a close friend, a family member, an online support group, a therapist
  • Going to the beach
  • Going for a walk at the park or walking your dog(s)
  • Taking a bath or shower
  • Doing some yoga or breathing exercises
  • Creating small goals to help you get back on track or reminding yourself of your long-term goals.

Remember that diabetes burnout is not something that will just go away and is not something that you will get over in one day. Be gentle with yourself because diabetes is already hard as it is, there’s no use with us being hard on ourselves as well.

When all else fails, look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud:

“I am a diabadass and I will not let diabetes run me, I will run it!”

Uncategorized

College and Diabetes

Diana Barreto 
TRIGGER WARNING- This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about suicide which may be upsetting to some people.

I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes when I was 20 years old, I had just finished my sophomore year in college (I was attending UCSC – University of California Santa Cruz) and was home for the summer.

That summer, I spent my days eating veggies, chicken, beef and fish as that was what I was allowed to eat. It was pretty easy to do since my mom was watching me like a hawk and keeping me accountable to my new diet.

September rolled around and it was time for me to go back to college. I remember feeling nervous and scared because no one knew that I had been diagnosed with a chronic illness besides my immediate family (my sister and my parents).

The diagnosis itself felt like a dark secret, a secret that no one should know about, a dark secret that was best kept hidden. So I did just that. I went to college and pretended that I wasn’t just diagnosed with a chronic illness.

I spent the last two years of college pretending that I was “normal,” pretending that I wasn’t sick, pretending that I wasn’t diagnosed with anything. I ate and drank whatever I wanted. I wanted a “normal” college experience and didn’t want anything to rob me of that.

Towards the end of my junior year in college, I was struggling. I felt tired all the time, I felt constant sadness, I was having a hard time concentrating in class and felt like I needed to study more than usual. I was then advised to seek counseling and since I was studying to get my BA in psychology, I felt like I owed it to myself to do it.

I started talking with a therapist and she diagnosed me with depression. Her and I talked about EVERYTHING except……diabetes. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it because I felt that if I said it out loud, it would become real, too real. Because I was ignoring a very important part of myself, my depression didn’t improve, it got worse.

I started to think that my life wasn’t worth living anymore. I thought that ending it all was better than living with a chronic illness. I felt like I was damaged goods and no one would love me enough to marry me. I felt like I wasn’t enough. I felt isolated and alone and like no one understood what I was going through. As my suicidal thoughts increased, I started to think about how I could do it. I would find myself searching the internet but then I would start thinking about my family and that would stop my search. The cycle kept going until my junior year of college had ended and I went back home for the summer. I had one last session with my therapist before leaving and still didn’t tell her I was experiencing suicidal thoughts.

national suicide prevention lifeline
Crisis text line

The summer before my last year in college, our family spent time with some family friends. These family friends had daughters so my sister and I hung out with them. I had known these girls since I was in middle school and even though we didn’t spend too much time together, the time we did share always felt fun and like a little escape.

No one knew I was experiencing suicidal thoughts nor that I had been seeing a therapist for depression so I had to put on my mask and pretend that I was okay.

Spending time with those girls saved my life.

I remember one of them telling me that they admired me for going to college and how cool it was that I was only 1 year away from graduating. Another one told me that they looked up to me and wanted to follow me in my footsteps. I was honestly stunned hearing their words and admiration for me because I didn’t see myself the way they saw me. These small yet powerful comments stayed with me and were engrained into my brain and heart. Knowing that they were looking up to me, I felt like I needed to show them it was possible. I felt like I couldn’t let them down. Spending time with those girls saved my life. I started to think about the positives in my life, thinking about what/who I was grateful for, thinking of how much my family loved me, thinking about the support I could provide to others who were hurting, thinking about my future.

I went back to college, reached out to my therapist and told her I had been experiencing suicidal thoughts. I worked with her throughout my last year of college and with time, my suicidal thoughts subsided. I briefly opened up about my diabetes diagnosis but downplayed the toll it had taken on me and that was left like that. My depression improved and my therapist terminated therapy with me as I was going to be moving back home after college.

I graduated from college and earned my Bachelor of Arts (BA) in psychology. I had survived. I had graduated. I felt immensely proud of myself and I was ready to move forward.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health, suicide or substance use crisis or emotional distress, reach out 24/7 to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) by dialing or texting 988 or using chat services at suicidepreventionlifeline.org to connect to a trained crisis counselor. You can also get crisis text support via the Crisis Text Line by texting NAMI to 741741.